It's hard to explain.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

Your life feels complicated, but you’re not sure how or what makes you so different. It’s hard to put your finger on it. You’ve read all the books on healthy attachment. Your algorithm regularly pops up with helpful videos on mental health. Maybe you’ve even gone to therapy about it. No one can say you didn’t do your due diligence.

And still... You just don’t quite fit the stereotype. Or you’re a minority, so the advice just doesn’t apply. It wouldn’t work if you tried it — you say this from experience.

“Maybe it’s just our culture,” you try to reason with yourself. “Everyone’s traumatized, I feel bad even comparing. Other people I know have had it worse.”

Except you still can’t relate, even to the people who grew up just like you. Same culture, same holidays, same neighborhood.

To make matters worse, it’s somehow it’s even harder to explain all this to the person you love most. Their background is complicated too. And of course it would be the exact opposite of yours in every way.

How many times have you tried talking about it, just for them to go quiet and say, “I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. It’s not like that for us.” How many times have you held your tongue at family parties because you didn’t know if it was your place — because what if that’s just their family?

You just want things to finally make sense.

I work with couples and individuals in these exact situations. Let's see what we can learn together.

If you find yourself relating to these experiences, let's talk.